Sadly, it’s not that easy.  The divorce process can take quite a long time. It is often emotionally as well as physically draining, and it can take a serious toll on your finances.  If children are involved, it can be devastating to them.  This is why it is often better to prevent divorce if there’s anything about your marriage that makes it worth saving.

If the possibility of divorce has come up in your marriage, but you would like to prevent it, keep reading for some helpful tips to turn your marriage around.  Remember as your read these, however, that it’s up to you to change.  You can’t expect or demand that your spouse changes first, or at all.  It’s up to you.  Also, it’s a win-win situation if you change, because either he or she will make positive changes in response to yours, or you will feel better about yourself regardless and be better equipped for your next relationship if this one does end in divorce.

First, if you truly want to prevent divorce, you need to stop disagreeing and/or fighting with your partner and agree with them instead.  Don’t try to defend yourself or justify things you have said or done that your spouse doesn’t like.  Look for the truth in your spouse’s words and agree!  Yes, agree.  Agreeing with someone rather than getting defensive can be very disarming.  They will often back down and be more receptive to a constructive conversation.

For example, if your spouse complains that you constantly nag, chances are there is truth in that statement.  So, rather than react, you might respond with, “You’re right.  I probably do sound like I’m nagging when I am frustrated and I feel like you aren’t listening.”  By agreeing, you may find that your spouse backs down and recognizes that you are truly listening, not to mention taking ownership, and those two things are very powerful if you want to prevent divorce.

Second, if you want to prevent divorce, lighten up for awhile.  This won’t be easy but it can be effective.  When couples are on the brink of divorce, every conversation can become strained and heavy.  Often one or both partners will withdraw from talking altogether because it simply takes too much emotional energy.  If you can keep your interactions upbeat and light for awhile, and avoid intense or heated conversations, it will take tremendous pressure off the relationship.

Third, to prevent divorce, take some time and consider how your actions or words may have been contributing to your marital problems.   It’s very easy for couples in a strained marriage to start blaming the other person for the problems in the relationship.  But it’s never all one person – both of you have contributed to the problems.

Write down your problems and share what you’ve discovered with your partner.  This may mean swallowing your pride, but would you rather prevent divorce or continue in the conflict?  If your partner recognizes that you are willing to begin taking full ownership of your issues and mistakes, he or she may begin to see you in a more positive light and become more receptive to working on the marriage.  Once the doors to communication are open you can begin working through conflict and healing your marriage.

These are just a few things you can do to prevent divorce, but they can make a significant difference.  Don’t wait for your partner to make the effort – do it yourself and you may be surprised at the results!

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You might be surprised to find out that one piece of advice given in the Magic of Making Up review is that one of the biggest mistakes you can make after a breakup is to start begging for forgiveness. This ebook teaches you how to assess yourself after a breakup instead of letting your emotions take over and control your actions. Instead, you will learn how to calm yourself so that you can prepare to get your spouse back.

If this Magic of Making Up review leaves you with the impression that it is only for helping you save your current relationship, it is not. It is also aimed at helping those who are interested in getting their exes back as well. With just more than sixty pages, this book will provide you with insight into any type of relationship. It can even help you with any relationships you may have in the future!

Learning the Magic of Making Up System

The system behind the book is a step-by-step plan that uses numerous techniques explained in full detail to help you get your ex back. These techniques can be used for those who have already broken up as well as those who are trying to avoid a breakup. It even offers advice on what to do if you cheated on your ex or if your ex has already found someone new.

The most important thing you can get from this Magic of Making Up review is that it has something for every situation in which you may be. Each relationship, like each breakup, has its own unique circumstance which makes it difficult for a single system to cover every one. Although the same may be said of this program, it offers you an abundance of information that is more likely to touch on the problems you are having and to help you find the solutions you need.

Another important issue in this Magic of Making Up review is that the program has been proven to be successful for a lot of people since it has been available on the market. It has been successful at getting 95% of couples back together in more than sixty countries. Best of all, it is easy to follow the plan and use the techniques without any danger of making matters worse. Many of those who have had success due to following this program have done so within a week of following it.

Magic of Making Up Review Conclusion

Two of the most appealing features of this book are that the techniques and advice in it apply to a number of different situations just as effectively and that it has a proven track record of success. Basically, it gives you a different outlook on your situation so that you can react calmly and get different results than you will from responding in your normal manner. It does appear to be one of the more successful books available on the market for saving relationships.

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Fear of communicating openly and honestly with your partner will not improve your relationship. Sometimes you simply have to “rock the boat” to make a difference and put yourself back on the right path. Even if some feelings get hurt along the way or your partner doesn’t believe there is an issue, saying something before the problems you perceive eat away at you is essential.

The reality is that even if your partner does not agree you have a troubled relationship, if you think you do, you do. To address your concerns head on and avoid further problems down the road, you must open communication and bring your concerns out into the light of day and make an attempt to work on them together as a couple.

Even if your attempts to repair a troubled relationship do not work out, taking a positive step forward is still worth the effort. By failing to take action to salvage a troubled relationship when you see the warning signs, you could suffer these consequences:

* Internal conflict – When you realize you have a troubled relationship and you fail to act, you can begin to be eaten away inside with doubts, worries, concerns and negative thoughts. While your partner may think the issue is a “mole hill,” you could turn it into a “mountain” by refusing to air things out.

* Apathy – Living in a troubled relationship can be a very difficult, trying and draining undertaking. If no resolution to your problems is forthcoming, you may find yourself feeling apathetic about your relationship and even your life in general. While this will damage your troubled relationship even more, apathy ultimately causes you even more harm. Self-respect requires that you take action to create a healthy, happy and fulfilling relationship. Even if this means you have to break a few eggs, the discomfort of confronting the issues can be well worth it.

* Worsening of problems – Small problems that are allowed to fester tend to grow out of proportion. When you feel your relationship is heading in the wrong direction, acting immediately to identify issues, communicate with your partner and try to revolve them is essential. Even the most minor of complaints can become a relationship-breaker if it’s allowed to simmer unchecked for too long.

* An eventual break – If a troubled relationship is allowed to continue unchecked the ultimate result might be a breakup that is irreconcilable. If this is not the case, it is possible the relationship will become so mired in inaction and other unhealthy behaviors that both partners will suffer living in a unhappy, unfulfilling situation. It is better to work on communication, air grievances and let the chips fall where they may than to spend a life unfulfilled.

Relationship communication problems demands action. When positive, healthy steps are taken to mend these problems, couples can grow stronger, better and healthier as a result. The outcome might be the relationship you have dreamed of having.

The risks are worth the potential rewards and the cost of inaction is too high for you, your partner and your relationship.

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An unhealthy relationship can take its toll in a variety of ways. Both you and your partner may feel unwanted, dejected, unworthy or even depressed. The negativity and lack of self-worth in your relationship may carry into other areas of life and damage you in your career, your interactions with other loved ones and most especially deep down in your psyche.

What are the signs of an unhealthy relationship and what can you do about them? Here are a few examples of common issues that signal serious problems:

* You and your partner fail to communicate – When a respectful, open and caring exchange of thoughts, ideas, needs and wants isn’t shared between partners, an unhealthy relationship is evident. Communication is essential for building up and maintaining a good relationship. It is also vital for both partners in a relationship to feel part of a bigger and better whole. This issue can be tackled by facing it head on and learning the rules of good communication. Even if your partner is resistant, you can make attempts to work on communication skills yourself.

* You or your partner feel taken for granted – When one partner does all the work and the other one does not pitch in or little time is spent together, a feeling of being taken advantage of can result. This is a major sign of an unhealthy relationship. To face this issue head on, use communication skills to discuss your feelings in the open. Take steps to show your partner you care. Explain the actions that would make you feel more valued, appreciated and loved.

* Intimacy has gone out of your relationship – Intimacy is a major part of a healthy, loving relationship. Going beyond sex, intimacy can also include communication, cuddling, simple signs of support and even just holding hands. Making sure that you do your part can help bring the intimacy back into your relationship. If romance and passion are lacking and are seriously missed, leading to an unhealthy relationship, get creative to spark the flames. Little gestures can go a very long way on this front.

* You or your partner feel unsupported in personal development – A healthy relationship is one that provides plenty of support for the development of the individuals within the union. If you or your partner feel you’re prevented from developing interests, skills or talents, you may be in an unhealthy relationship. To remedy this, learn to support each other, not only within the confines of acting as a “couple,” but also individually. If your partner loves to sing, support her efforts to develop that talent, If you are passionate about painting, ask for the same support in return.

An unhealthy relationship can stifle the individual and damage the spirit. If you are living in one, take steps to bring your concerns out in the open and address them together as a couple. When you are able to do this, you may find that a seemingly troubled union can be put on the path to become a healthy, nurturing relationship that grows better over time.

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When confronted with disease in a patient, modern medicine in the developed countries of the world seeks to treat the symptoms of the affliction. Medical researchers, on the other hand, seek to find the causes of the illness, so they can prevent future outbreaks.

With your marriage, you have to treat the symptoms as well as find the causes of your marital problems. You must work on healing the symptoms of your relationship problems and then eliminate the causes so the same problems don’t recur.

If the problems in your marriage are caused by one or both of you, you have to take immediate action to change the causes of the problems. If the causes involve one or both of your actions or an indifferent attitude, this problem should be addressed jointly.

It is smart to be organized in your approach to solving marital difficulties. Make a list of the problems, the responsible party and what actions have to be taken to change the problem into a positive outcome.

Have your partner make up their own list and then have a quiet conversation and discuss each list. You should jointly decide what each of you is going to do to save your marriage (assuming that your partner is a willing participant in saving what you have together).

In most cases, using an organized approach takes some of the emotions out of the process. After you have agreed on a specific course of action, put the plan into effect immediately. Discuss your progress with your partner on a daily basis.

If you are dealing with an uncooperative partner, one who thinks he or she is the “wronged” party, then you will have to resort to other means to convince your spouse to remain in the marriage.

In this case you can present your partner with your list of what you are going to do to make your marriage better. When it is apparent that you are working to better things, you might suggest that your spouse prepare their own list.

In addition to your list of planned actions, you should also prepare a list of all the reasons to salvage your marriage. Make a balance sheet showing assets on one side and liabilities on the other. Go over it with your partner if they are willing to talk about it.

If your partner is still unwilling to discuss your problems, you might want to seek assistance from an unbiased third party like your clergyman or a close friend or couple who your partner respects and to whom they will listen. Ask this party to go over the balance sheet on your marriage with your mate.

It is much easier to remain in a situation than it is to change. Most people resist changes in their lives. They are much more comfortable with familiar surroundings, activities and relationships.

If you show you are willing to work the kinks out of your marriage, more than likely your partner will be amenable to it as well.

If either one of you has erred greatly, you both have to be reminded that “to err is human, to forgive is divine.” Be divine.

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Before going headlong into a plan to stop the divorce, explore your reasons for wanting to do so. Take a close look at your relationship and where things went wrong. Make sure your motives are pure. Also, be certain your union is worth salvaging, because not every marriage can or even should be held together.

If you decide you want to move forward and take action to stop the divorce, there are some steps you will want to take:

Step 1 – Reach Out To Your Spouse - While you can stop the divorce, or at least stall it, by contesting it, your best bet is to open up a line of communication with your spouse. Declare your desire to stop the process and make an attempt to work things out. Be aware that your spouse may not be willing to do so, but try to get the opportunity to at least discuss the possibility.

Step 2 - State Your Case - When you have your spouse’s ear, you will need to clearly, concisely and as calmly as possible state your case. Your spouse will need to hear why you want to stop the divorce and work things out, what you believe needs to be done to fix issues in your marriage and what steps you are willing to take.

Step 3 – Listen To Your Spouse - Open your ears and listen carefully to what your spouse has to say. Even if your spouse isn’t receptive to the idea of reconciliation, he or she may provide some insight you can use to improve your situation.

Step 4 – Evaluate What Has Been Said - After you have had the opportunity to discuss your desire to stop the divorce, reevaluate your position based on your spouse’s response. You may have gained valuable information about what needs to be done to set things right. If so, are you willing to take the actions your spouse suggested?

If your spouse is adamant about moving forward with the divorce, has another person in his life or if there was violence in your relationship, you may need to evaluate the wisdom in pursuing reconciliation. While it’s best to never say never, you also deserve an opportunity to make a fresh start and enjoy a healthy, happy relationship down the road.

Step 5 – Take Positive Action - If you and your spouse have agreed to work together to stop the divorce and rebuild your relationship to be stronger and better, it’s time to take action in a positive manner. Work together on the issues you’ve discussed and seek counseling, if it’s appropriate.

Keep in mind that repairing a relationship that was damaged enough to head for court can take a lot of time and effort. It is likely there will be many ups and downs along the way. Try to remain positive and keep working toward the ultimate goal: a relationship that is healthy and fulfilling for both of you.

Now, if your spouse doesn’t agree to stop the divorce, you can still take positive action to build a better future for yourself. Try to remain positive, work on building your self-esteem and gain strength from the lessons you’ve learned. In time, you may find yourself in a better position to enter into a new relationship that is healthier, happier and more fulfilling than the last.

In many cases, it is possible to stop your divorce and create a better relationship. Even when it is not, you can benefit immensely from examining how and why things went wrong and what you can do to enjoy a loving relationship in the future.

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A world authority on the psychology of relationships, Mort Fertel, says that the key to a long-lasting, successful marriage is “not finding the right person, it is falling in love with the person you selected.”

Falling in love is an emotional response to a strong attraction to an individual. It is a spontaneous response to a physical, emotional and intellectual appeal between two people.

Loving someone, on the other hand, is something at which you have to work actively. In order to sustain that loving feeling towards the person to whom you are married, you must apply time, energy and effort to the relationship.

If the “bloom is off the rose” in your relationship it is likely that you and your partner are responsible. By not applying yourselves to the marriage, you have lost or misplaced the promise of what began with such great passion.

It is very possible that you can recover that passion and rekindle the romance in your lives with each other. You can stop your move towards divorce and end up being happier than ever with the person your heart originally chose as your mate.

In order to stop your divorce you must address those factors that are pushing you towards that action. You have to eliminate as many negatives from your relationship as humanly possible.

Sure, you can let your divorce occur and you will probably connect with someone else and possibly fall in love again. If you don’t learn the lessons you need to about sustaining your love, then you will be in the same boat as you are now, heading for another divorce.

What was it about your partner that first attracted you? Chances are they are still the same person underneath all the baggage that one or both of you have added to the relationship by not doing the things necessary to stay in love.

If you are both amenable, you should each make a two-part list of what you like about your partner and marriage to them and then all the things you dislike. If your partner doesn’t want to take part in this exercise, do it yourself.

Sit down and discuss each of those lists, or just yours. When you expose the good and bad sides of your marriage, many of the negative issues will seem trivial. When taken together, however, they become like a millstone around your necks.

Make a joint commitment to change the facets of your relationship that you don’t like. Or commit to reduce them as much as humanly possible so that the positives in your marriage far outweigh the negatives.

Make a pact to think and talk positively about your partner and your marriage to each other and to other people. Expose the good side of each of your characters and each of you tell the other that you love them, often.

It sounds rather simplistic, but if you practice being in love, you will be in love. You will be able to sustain that relationship and fan the fires of your passion once more. If you spend your time dwelling on the negatives of your marriage, then your marriage will be a negative one.

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Getting divorced is one of the most significant decisions you can make in your life and you should not give in to it easily. No matter what you are feeling, it is essential to prevent emotions that either of you are feeling at the moment drive you into a divorce.

Learn to Talk Calmly

If every time you try to talk things out it turns into a yelling match, you are only going further in the wrong direction. If you are going to try to resolve things and stop divorce from being the final outcome, you are going to have to learn to have a meaningful conversation without letting your emotions take over.

You are probably feeling anger, hurt, depression, confusion, and a whole host of other emotions. But unless you can push those feelings aside, you may never find out what has led your spouse to take the steps she is taking. If she has agreed to talk with you and you genuinely want to deal with the issues and stop divorce from being the outcome, then keep these points in mind:

* Don’t yell. No matter how you feel or what you are thinking, badgering her isn’t going to make her stop divorce proceedings.

* Remember how important conversation is to getting your marriage back. If she is the one who has already moved out and filed for the divorce, then naturally there is a reason why. She didn’t just get up and decide to go file for a divorce for no reason. If you aren’t sure what that reason is, you need to find out. The only way you can do this is through a calm conversation where there is no yelling, name calling, or accusations.

* It can be difficult to stop the divorce from happening once your spouse has filed for it. The only way to do this is to persuade her to stop the proceedings that she has started. Blaming her for the issues you are having isn’t going to persuade her that things are better than she imagined and cause her to stop the divorce proceedings. The only way to convince her is to take an honest look at what the problems are with your marriage and then let her know that you understand. Consider how you can change those things to make them better. Make an honest commitment to improve your marriage.

* Agree to spend more time with your spouse and then follow through on that commitment. That means making dates to do things together that both of you enjoy and not showing up unexpectedly or interrupting her work.

It may take a while to work out the issues you have in your marriage and stop divorce from happening, but it will be worth the effort. You may end up with a much better relationship as a result. If you still have unresolved issues, you should consider marriage counseling to ensure you continue to make improvements in your marriage and stop divorce from happening in the future.

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If your marriage is on the brink of ending, it’s time to step back and consider what you can do to turn things around. Keep in mind that you can’t wait for your partner to change or take constructive action. But the good news is that often all it takes is one partner making some significant changes to save a marriage that appears unsalvageable.

For some helpful save marriage advice, keep reading. These 4 tips may seem small or insignificant, but they can help if you take action:

* Don’t criticize your spouse or complain about him/her or your marriage! This first piece of advice will help both you and your partner tremendously if you are willing to do it. Granted, it’s easier said than done, but griping and criticizing will only widen the rift in your marriage, and that’s the last thing you should want if you want to save your marriage.

Whenever you find yourself saying anything negative or critical about your spouse or your marriage, stop yourself immediately. This takes a conscious effort, so you need to monitor your thoughts and words. But once you start doing it, you’ll likely notice just how often you engage in this destructive behavior. After all, who wants to be in a relationship with someone who nags, criticizes, or complains? Cease and desist, and your spouse may start to warm up to you.

* The next piece of save marriage advice is to focus on all the positive aspects of your marriage. This may seem very difficult at first, when everything seems to be going badly. But most likely things haven’t always been bad (if so, then this might not be a marriage worth saving!).

There were many things that drew you to your spouse and that you loved about your relationship when you first got involved. Make a list of those and keep it somewhere where you can refer to it often. It’s been said that whatever we focus on expands in importance. Focus on the positive and it will have a positive impact on your relationship.

* Along the same vein as the second piece of save marriage advice, look for ways you can genuinely praise and compliment your partner. We all deeply desire and need to feel appreciated and valued. When relationships get really bad, both parties often stop appreciating each other and instead find fault. Do the opposite (even if you have to really dig!). Don’t gush or go overboard, as that may come across as insincere. But genuine, heartfelt appreciation and praise are powerful tools in your arsenal!

* Last of all, when it comes to good marital advice, one of the best things you can do is be patient and don’t pressure your partner. Gently let him or her know that you want to do whatever it takes to make your marriage work. Make it clear that you are open to talking and working things out. If communication has come to a grinding halt, let your partner know that when he or she is ready to talk, you’re willing to truly listen.

Granted, there are volumes of books written with all sorts of great advice on how to save your marriage, but start with these steps. This will show your partner that your marriage means the world to you and that you are determined to make the necessary changes to make it work!

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To that end, this is a review of “Save My Marriage Today” by relationship specialist Amy Waterman, one of the leading methods available these days on how to save a troubled marriage. The course was designed by Amy Waterman for those individuals who are looking for ways to improve their relationships. It was designed for those people who are always in fear that their marriage is about to end badly and who are looking for strategies they can use to prevent the end of their marriage from becoming a reality.

This “Save My Marriage Today” review is intended as a tool for you to determine if this course offers you the best solutions for your particular situation. While many people doubt that any single solution will work for all marriages and all circumstances, Amy Waterman is honest in admitting that no tactic or system is going to work for 100 percent of marriages. Marital problems are often complex issues that are difficult to address. What this program does is offer a lot of information that is very straightforward and simple to follow in the hopes that it will be what you need to repair your marriage.

One thing that must be said in this “Save My Marriage Today” review is that this program is recommended by a number of experts who believe it can help you save your marriage when nothing else can. It is recommended for those who:

o Are still in a marriage but whose relationship has become shaky and they fear it will end badly

o Are looking for strategies and techniques to help them improve their marriage and help them stay married

o Want to get their spouse back and find love again before their marriage ends in divorce

o Want to learn what mistakes they might be making in their marriage and how to prevent making them again

o Want to open the doors of communication with their spouse

You will find from this “Save My Marriage Today” review that there are many methods to help you learn how to stay married to your spouse, as well as numerous exercises you can use to help with your marital problems. The entire course can be completed in just six days and can be repeated whenever you need a boost to your relationship. The book covers a variety of issues, including arguments, problems over money, infidelity, and many of the other issues that threaten marriages.

What many people probably want most from this “Save My Marriage Today” review is an idea of exactly what you may get from the program that is going to help. Aside from the secrets to a more successful marriage and the marriage mistakes you need to avoid, it will also provide you with the knowledge to:

o Learn how to stop your spouse from cheating

o Put love and passion back into your relationship using a simple four-step plan

o Learn how to deal with children while your marriage is in crisis

o Understand the differences in how men and women think about sex

o Understand why it is possible to work too hard on your marriage and do more damage instead of good

o Learn to deal with your spouse’s attitude

o Cope with financial problems that may be causing difficulties in your marriage

The conclusion to this “Save My Marriage Today” review is that almost everyone who has tried it and has followed its guidelines closely has not only saved their relationship, but has also improved it to a large degree. Many say that it took far less time than they had imagined. If you have a troubled marriage, this program may be a good program for you to learn how to save your relationship.

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Instead of just dealing with the actions you have to take to save your marriage, Dr. Baucom also deals with the things you must not do if you want your marriage to remain intact.

Baucom claims that his no-nonsense approach has saved thousands of troubled marriages since the inception of his program. Dr. Baucom’s website, www.savethemarriage.com, has a number of video clips in which the doctor gives a presentation detailing the content of his program.

The information is helpful, well-organized and presented clearly. Dr. Baucom takes issue with the unprofessional and unqualified marriage counselors who abound on the internet. He states that much of their material is unproven and untested.

Lee H. Baucom, PhD., is a member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists. Dr. Baucom claims a success ratio of 90% as opposed to the industry average of 20%. He gives credit to his unique approach for his success.

Baucom admits that when he first began to practice, he began by applying the archaic principles he had been taught. Distressed because they didn’t work very well, he researched and developed his own unconventional approach and his success rate rose dramatically.

Most psychologists are not specifically trained in marriage therapy. They add this facet to their practices later on and attempt to use general techniques to treat marital problems. This doesn’t work, according to Doctor Baucom, and explains the very low success rate.

Part of Doctor Baucom’s approach is to reveal “Four Myths of a Successful Marriage.”

These myths are:

- Communication is critical – Is this really a myth?

- There is only one path to a successful marriage (he claims there are at least eight)

- You cannot save the marriage if your partner isn’t trying

- Time heals all (wounds)

“More marriages die from neglect than any other cause,” says Doctor Baucom. He says that many times there is surprise when one partner tells the other that they want a divorce. The second partner didn’t even know there was a problem and all of a sudden, divorce looms.

When people surveyed rate their priorities, their marriage is always one of the top three or four items they think of. Yet few people spend any time trying to work on their spousal relationship. This neglect is perceived as indifference and the marriage founders.

In a career issue, faced with the same type of situation, many people just change jobs, rather than try to change the situation to better suit their needs. It is this thinking, coupled with our society’s diminished respect for the importance of matrimony, that triggers divorce.

Doctor Baucom claims that it is critical to know which stage your relationship is in. How and what treatment is applied is determined by the point that has been reached in the breakdown of the relationship.

The doctor doesn’t promise miracles, but his success rate says otherwise. The life stories on his website support the claim that Dr. Baucom is close to being a miracle worker.

Doctor Baucom closes by saying that his program isn’t just about your marriage, it is about creating the relationship of your dreams and a future life together that is fulfilling and happy.

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Before you embark on a journey to try and win back your ex-wife, though, it is well worth exploring your personal motivations. If you can identify where things went wrong and what might be necessary to fix them, and you truly believe the relationship is worth salvaging, you can proceed with a clear conscience. If your relationship was unhealthy from the start or involved serious breaches of trust, you may want to seriously consider alternatives to getting back together.

But if you are genuine about wanting to win back your ex-wife, these steps may help:

* Let her know how you feel - If you ever want a chance to win back your ex-wife, she has to know your intentions and why you believe your relationship can be rebuilt for the better. Clearly state your case and the steps you are willing to take to put things back on solid footing.

* Admit mistakes - Even if your breakup was “technically” your ex-wife’s fault, relationships are a two-way street. When they fall apart, both parties are usually to blame. So admit your mistakes and explain what you’d like to do to remedy them.

* Listen to her - You may find that your ex-wife isn’t all that interested in getting back together but has plenty to say about what went wrong. Or on the contrary, you may find that she has been feeling exactly the same way. In either case, listen to what she has to say and take in her suggestions and criticisms with the genuine intention of processing what she is saying. Don’t go on the defensive, and refrain from interrupting. Your mission here is to listen to her and understand what she has to say.

* Give her some time – If she asks for some time to process what you’ve said or to think about the proposition, give it to her. While it might seem like a great idea to try and woo her and sweep her off her feet again immediately, don’t try this, at least not right away. You might get her attention by making grand gestures, but you might just as easily annoy her and drive a bigger wedge between the two of you.

* Work on yourself – One of the best things you can do to win back your ex-wife is to demonstrate your willingness to become a better partner. Do this by working on personal changes you’d like to make, taking on a positive approach to life and becoming the person you want to be. Do not change for her, but take steps to be the stronger, better and healthier person you know you can be.

* Take it slow – If your ex-wife does agree to try and work things out, go slowly. Do not expect to repair a damaged relationship overnight. Carefully work through each issue you need to tackle together. Go on dates and learn to enjoy each other’s company again. Rekindle your love and slowly work on the passion.

Even if you are unsuccessful in following the steps to win back your ex-wife, making a genuine effort can give you the closure you need to move on that the court proceedings didn’t provide. By stating your feelings and intent and taking steps to improve who you are, you will become more comfortable in your own skin. This can be very attractive to others, perhaps even your ex-wife.

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1. Don’t be a pushover. Even if she complained during your relationship that you were too overbearing, that doesn’t mean she wants a man who isn’t strong enough to stand up to her. Threatening to jump off a bridge if she doesn’t take you back isn’t going to make her come running back.

2. You can’t get your ex back with flowers and gifts. If she has already lost the feeling of attraction she had for you, she probably won’t consider coming back to the relationship unless she somehow gets that feeling back.  So no matter what you give her, it isn’t going to change the way she sees you personally.

3. There has been a lot of advice written about the importance of finding what it was that you had together in the beginning of the relationship. Realistically, people change and whatever she admired most in you in the beginning may be more of an irritant at this point than something she finds attractive. Instead, think of things that she has mentioned or responded to in a more positive way recently. Chemistry can be one of the most important ingredients to help you get your ex back and the most impressive thing you can do may be something that seems insignificant to you.

4. One of the worst things you can do is try to use jealousy to get your ex back. If you take another woman out and make sure that all of your mutual friends know it so that it will get back to her, she won’t come running back. In fact, she may think you didn’t care very much for her in the first place.

5. Don’t turn into a desperate stalker. Chasing her and calling her every five minutes is not the way to get your ex back. Instead, it’s a way to descend to a whole new level in the wrong direction. She has a mind of her own and she will have to make the decision to come back on her own. Harassment isn’t going to persuade her.

6. Don’t refuse to get professional help. Men don’t normally like the idea of going to counseling because it simply goes against their nature to allow someone else to solve their problems for them. If you are sincere in wanting to know how to get your ex back, then be open to counseling. You may find that counseling is the one way that you can gain perspective that you might never otherwise have.

7. If you are to blame for the break-up, then apologizing sincerely for hurting your ex will go farther than anything else you can say. A sincere apology is one which includes more than those two little words. Include an explanation of why you are sorry that will let her know you understand how your actions have hurt her so that she will believe you will never hurt her again.

Depending on a number of factors, you may get your ex back easily or you may have to come to terms with the fact that the breakup is for good. However, a thoughtful approach has more potential for a positive outcome than one that is reckless.

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An Honest Approach to Relationship Recovery

One of the reasons this guide is different from so many others is that it puts a lot of focus on the way you feel about yourself and not just the way you feel about your partner. Relationships go through cycles and Relationship Recovery examines these cycles as well as the way we develop and what we believe about relationships.

In this Relationship Recovery review, it is important to mention that this program takes a deep look at communication and how different genders deal with it. It’s no secret that men and women have different beliefs about their relationships, but this program will help you understand these differences and how to approach them.

Understanding Your Own Behavior

You know people who like to play the part of the victim and you may be one of them yourself. There are a number of different roles you can assume and this program will help you to recognize and understand why you play the roles you do. Then you will learn to adjust your attitudes so that you can get past them.

Relationship Recovery deals with many in-depth issues that are important in mending relationships. It calls for you to do some self-examination rather than focusing solely on the relationship between both of you. If you follow the program, you should become more aware of who you are and understand what your limits are.

Relationship Recovery is a Tool to Get You Where You Want to Be

Some people refuse to accept that their relationship is in trouble, and they are unable to get past their problems in time to make a difference in what ends up happening. Although this Relationship Recovery review might have you thinking that its suggestions will work under any circumstances, this is not the case.

Before you can use Relationship Recovery to successfully repair your relationship, you must be able to recognize that your relationship is in trouble in the first place and you must have the attitude necessary to bring the love back into it. You must take positive action, and if you do, Relationship Recovery will provide you with the tools you need to have the positive, active mindset needed to succeed.

Relationship Recovery has Substance the Other Systems Don’t

Don’t get the idea from this Relationship Recovery review that this is the simplest program you can follow. It is all about taking action, and there is a lot of soul-searching involved. You’ll need to think about things you’ve never taken into consideration before, and you may make some discoveries about yourself that are painful to bear. This system is not a quick fix and there is no “Cliff’s Notes” version that you can use to sail through it quickly.

Conclusion of the Relationship Recovery Review

This program can work for a lot of relationships if you are willing to use it as it was intended and do the work that is required of you. It will help you understand what has happened to your relationship so that you can stop it and get back together with your partner or at least improve your relationship. If you don’t have the commitment to put into it, however, then it probably isn’t going to work for you.

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So, what kind of relationship advice do you need to know about to succeed?

Men relationship problems don’t vary too much and there are a few key pieces of vital relationship advice for men that most guys have heard, but not all have taken to heart. To help keep your relationship moving forward in a happy, healthy and fulfilling direction for both you and your partner, it is important to keep in mind these things:

* Your partner is not one of ‘the guys’ – While you may consider this bit of relationship advice for men when you’re behind shut doors with the lights down low, it’s important to take note of in the light of day, too. Whereas you and the guys might hang out for hours on end and barely say a word to each other, women like to be acknowledged. They like to talk and they like to be noticed when they’re in a room. Don’t treat your lady like ‘one of the guys’ or your may live to regret it.

* Your girlfriend may see intimacy differently than you do – It is not rare for men to view intimacy as sex only. Ladies don’t always have the same views. To them, intimacy between a couple may also include holding hands, snuggling on the couch, stolen hugs or kisses in the hallway before work, or even brief brushes as you pass by each other on your way out the door. This important piece of relationship for advice for men can help you maintain a strong tie with your partner even when the desire for sex may be lacking for a time.

* Your girlfriend may communicate oppositely – The nuances between the way men and women tend to communicate are so different that entire series have been written on the subject. To get the most out of this relationship advice, take note of those differences and learn how to bridge the gap. Since communication is vital to the long-term endurance of your relationship, you’ll want to learn how to get her to share her feelings, help work out your problems and more. Also develop your own communication skills, so that your points come across as important.

* Your girlfriend may appreciate words as well as actions – Relationship advice for men doesn’t always cover this point, but it should. Whereas men may be more action-driven, women tend to value words as well. To keep your relationship healthy or even to begin to repair any damage that may be present, you will want to use both measures. For example, tell her you love her often. Also, take steps to show her you love her by being considerate of her feelings, assisting with work around the household, making romantic gestures, and so on.

Understanding and studying the differences between men and women is vital to having a healthy long term relationship. When you want to make a real impact on the significant other in your life, your strive to understand her, support her and care for her can help your relationship go the distance. Even simple gestures backed up by the right words and seriousness will help you avoid common relationship issues and can help you two bridge the gaps that have been formed.

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Many women relationship problems are caused by these different views and that’s why relationship advice for women is so important. If you are looking for ways to better understand the man in your life and improve your interactions, following the right relationship advice for women can prove essential.

So, what do you need to know about the guy in your life to help increase the chance of success in your relationship? Whether your status as a couple is as solid as a rock or you’re concerned about the future, this relationship advice for women is well worth reviewing:

* Men communicate differently – This is perhaps the most important women relationship problems that you need to know to better understand your man. Whereas women may like to discuss issues at length without trying to seek a solution, men tend to want to see results. If you have a problem with the man in your life, make sure to have a potential solution that is positive to bring up in the conversation. If you just want to “talk” about an issue that’s bothering you, be prepared for him to try and “fix it” if no solution is forthcoming from you.

* Men are action-oriented - While you might enjoy hearing that he loves you each and every day, men tend to respond better to actions. This relationship advice for women can help you better connect with the man in your life. To make sure he knows he’s valued and loved, show him. You can achieve this by doing things that show you care for him and value him as your partner.

* Men are often hesitant to share their feelings – This relationship advice for women can help head off a lot of disagreements. Although you may have a deep-seated need to share how you feel about a variety of topics, your man may not. He may prefer to show you he loves you rather than tell you, for example. He may hold emotions close to his chest and require patience and understanding before he brings them out in the open. Don’t see this as a flaw in him, necessarily. Men are often raised to keep emotions and feelings in check.

* To-do lists can get you farther than nagging – This relationship advice for women has been hard-learned by many. The man in your life may not necessarily be trying to drive you crazy by not taking out the trash, doing the dishes or picking up wet towels. His mind may simply be preoccupied at the time you ask. Many men, however, tend to respond very well to lists and often appreciate the reminder of what needs to be accomplished to keep a household running smoothly and in harmony. Take the time to acquiesce by writing a list and you may find serious bones of contention disappear.

The best relationship advice for women simply involves learning to recognize and understand the differences between the sexes, especially in regard to communication. When this is achieved, most women relationship problems even rocky relationships fraught with discord can often be salvaged and put on stronger ground.

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The First Step to Help Marital Problems Go Away

Any marriage has highs and lows that are a normal part of the flow of things. When you go through an extended period of lows, however, there may be a problem. Until you identify what that problem is, you aren’t going to be able to make it better. In some instances, targeting the issue that is making you fight all the time or that is hurting one of you is simple.

You may be fighting over money or maybe you are upset that your spouse doesn’t seem to be interested in you physically anymore. For others, the reason for the problems may be less obvious. If you have to get counseling to figure out what the problems are, then do it. You can’t find solutions without knowing the problems.

The Second Step to Help Marital Problems Go Away

Once you have identified the problem or problems, you can take a practical approach to making them go away. This is going to require you to sit down and talk calmly and honestly about creating a plan for making things better. This is probably going to be more difficult than you expect it to be. Even those problems that seem minor can be very complex once you start working on them.  Often that’s because your spouse is the one who considers it to be a deal breaker and by the time things have gotten to the point where you are in danger of losing your relationship, they have peaked.

You may have to do more than adjust your attitude in order to help your marital problems go away. For instance, if your wife has delivered the “I love you, but I’m not in love with you” message and she has been avoiding any type of intimacy with you for months, you may be confused about what seems to have been a sudden change in her feelings. When she tells you that the 50-pound beer gut you have put on has completely cooled her off, are you going to be willing to commit to getting yourself in shape in order to help your marital problems go away?

The problem can also be something like the fact that she feels rejected by you since you haven’t touched her in six months. If she has put on a lot of weight or just isn’t taking care of herself and you don’t see her in the same way, you need to put your cards on the table as well. With these types of issues, it is important not to be accusatory or point a finger of blame. Use the word “I” instead of the word “you”.

The Third Step to Help Marital Problems Go Away

You have to have time to help your marital problems go away, regardless of what they are. Whether you choose to get counseling or work on the problems yourself, it takes time to find solutions for your problems and to heal from the damage that they have already done. Always keep in mind that you are working to change your marriage and not your spouse. It is the relationship that needs mending and you will both have to work at it and at finding what you admire most in each other in order to fall in love again.

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Despite the traditional marriage vows most people make, most of which include the statement, “until death do us part,” marriage has become almost a casual relationship in many parts of society.

In particular, people in the public eye, such as entertainers, movie and television stars, and professional athletes, have extremely high divorce rates.
Additionally, in the U.S., policemen have a very high divorce rate, one of the highest of any profession. The reasons are legion: it’s a hazardous profession, the uniform, badge, gun and authority attract the opposite sex like a magnet, and dealing with the negative side of human nature makes a policeman cynical.

About fifty percent of first marriages in the U.S. end in divorce and the stats are nearly as high in Russia, the UK, Denmark, New Zealand, Australia and Canada. And almost two-thirds of second marriages end, while almost three-quarters of third marriages dissolve.

What ever happened to the vows taken in the marriage ceremony? Why are people divorcing instead of resolving their differences?

The lack of importance people place in marriage is evidenced by the number of couples who choose not to marry, but instead live together in “civil unions,” while still choosing to have children. Amongst the underprivileged it is not uncommon for a woman to have a number of children by different fathers.

The breakdown of the family as the center of domestic life is part of the cause of the lack of commitment to marriage. It is also the result of this lack of commitment.

The movement away from religious faith has also contributed to many people not taking their marriage vows seriously. Their lack of belief in a deity means that the vows they take “before God and man” have no real meaning in their minds.

Fortunately, divorce between couples with children is about forty percent less than that between couples with no children. But even within that smaller number, what message does it send to the children of these broken marriages that it is okay to separate and divorce? What sort of commitment can we expect from the children of divorced parents?

More than one-third of children come from broken homes and the average age for a first divorce is about thirty years old, the median age when most people have children. Thus, many children are raised in single parent-households during their formative years, a time when they need both male and female parental influences.

The divorce rate and the apparent lack of respect for marriage vows is a sad commentary on the state of our modern society. If marriage is no longer a sacred act between two people who are (or should be) making a lifelong commitment, then why marry at all?

We could revert to a primitive societal structure like the one amongst chimpanzees, where casual male-female relationships are the norm and promiscuity is universal. Females in estrus mate with any male who shows his desire for them, usually all the adult males.

This causes the paternity of these babies to be so in doubt that all the males act like all the young ones are their offspring. But at least the male chimps show some responsibility, unlike their human cousins.

Here’s one statistic that is telling: Among couples with strong religious beliefs and practices, the respect for marriage vows is much higher and divorce is much less common. A respect for their faith gives greater meaning to the promise they made in the eyes of their God.

Working at a marriage is harder than treating it as a casual liaison and only about half the couples in a marriage are willing to work at it.

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First of all, you have to deal with the causes of the break-up. Who was responsible for the actions that led to the divorce or separation, you or him? Obviously, if it was his actions, they are not unforgivable or you wouldn’t want him back.

If your actions were responsible, how readily will he forgive you? How good was the relationship before the acts that led to the break-up? What are the best things you and he shared in your marriage? What were the low points?

Has enough time passed that any sins committed can be more easily forgiven? Time, as the saying goes, does heal all wounds.

If the marriage produced any children, then they are a consideration as well. If they would like their father back in the home you shared together, then you might enlist their assistance if they are old enough to understand.

You have to be careful if you involve the kids because it could appear to him like you are using them to ensnare him.

If you are on speaking terms with your ex-husband, you should try to arrange a meeting with him at a quiet place, not a noisy bar or crowded restaurant. Instead, you should choose a place that both of you will associate with fond memories of your relationship.

The reason for the meeting may be expressed as, “I need to talk to you about something that is very important and affects both of us. I can’t talk on the phone, but must see you in person.”

Prepare what you want to say. Make an outline as if you were making a business presentation. This event is, after all, more important than any business meeting. Practice what you want to say and learn your lines, but don’t be too stilted when you speak to him.

Be sure to include a list of all the reasons you should get back together. You may ask for a trial period, or just to start dating. If his actions precipitated the break-up, give him your complete forgiveness. If the actions were yours, ask for his forgiveness.

If your ex-husband accepts your invitation, half the battle is won. It is a sign that he has no problem meeting with you and talking. If he was very resentful over the divorce, he might not agree to meet at all.

Refrain from anything that might be construed as begging, pleading or playing on his sympathies. This is a huge turn-off to most people and would probably make it even harder for you to connect with your former husband.

If the meeting doesn’t work or isn’t possible, you should see if you can have a third party intervene. Your priest, pastor, rabbi or other Church official is a good place to start. Another alternative is a good mutual friend or couple who will talk to your ex-husband for you.

His relatives are also a possible source you can use to reconnect with your ex-husband. You could enlist their aid to get him to listen to your proposal.

Leave no stone unturned, nor any legitimate act undone if you want to reconnect with him.

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The dilemma faced by a number of men is how to rekindle their relationship with that unforgettable girl, and there is no simple answer.

Your options are governed by a number of concerns, not the least of which is why she broke up with you in the first place. Were you unfaithful, inattentive, or didn’t share the same interests, or were you just plain boring?

All of these are huge obstacles, but none of them is insurmountable. There had to be something that drew you together in the first place and you have to go back to that point to try and renew her interest.

First and foremost, don’t plead with her. That is a sure-fire turn-off. You immediately paint yourself as pitiful and you abdicate any negotiating position. Begging her to come back to you will cost you any respect she may have for you and your self-respect as well.

If she is a really “up-front” person, you should ask her to meet with you, maybe over dinner at a favorite restaurant. Meeting in a noisy bar or hangout wouldn’t be a smart idea. You want a reasonably quiet, friendly place, preferably one with some fond memories for both of you.

If you have something to feel contrite about, apologize to her at the outset. Then state your case, recalling the many good aspects of your relationship.

Make the point that you shared so much good that it would be a shame not to work on overcoming the negative issues together and make your relationship the best it can be for both of you.

Another tactic is a third-party intervention. This can be either direct or indirect. A mutual friend can suggest directly that “you guys were such a good couple; it is sad that you don’t get back together. I know (your name here) talks about you all the time and how much he misses you.”

A less direct approach would be for that friend to frequently comment on what a nice couple you were together. They could go on to say, “It’s a shame that you never worked out your differences.”

If they report back that there is any sign of interest, you should be on it in a flash while the thought is still fresh in your ex-girlfriend’s mind.

Okay, you’ve made the connection; now what is the next step? Make sure you have a plan. Just like in any presentation, unless you are an improvisational phenomenon, you should have a well thought-out agenda for your first meeting.

You should use a tried-and-true method like the “Ho-Hum Formula” for public speaking: Use an attention-getting opening statement, tell them why you are there, go into the body of your speech and then close with a reaffirmation of why you are there.

As neophyte salesmen are admonished, “Don’t forget to ask for the sale!” If there is interest, ask for a reconciliation with your sweetheart. If the response is ambivalent or negative, you should determine why this is her response so you know what your next step will be.

Unless your sin was totally unforgivable, you should be able to generate interest in a renewed relationship. If you lay out the good reasons to reconnect and you promise to resolve all of your problems, you should be successful.

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Keep in mind that not every relationship is reparable and that sometimes staying apart is much better for both parties. If your relationship was truly unhealthy, or if it involved violence or serious betrayal at the end, you may want to closely examine the idea of trying to get your boyfriend back.

If you have examined your relationship and feel it’s truly worth salvaging and making better, there are several tips you may want to try to get your boyfriend back.

Tip 1 – Explore the reasons for the breakup. If you want to get your boyfriend back, there will generally be issues with the relationship that will need to be resolved. Examine where things went wrong and what can be done to overcome the problem or problems. Remember that relationships are two-way streets and so are breakups. Chances are, the “fault” lies with both parties.

Tip 2 – Give him some space. If you really want to get your boyfriend back after a split, state your desire and then give him some space. Don’t hound him, send notes, pester or otherwise harass him. State your case, and be clear about why you think things went wrong and what your ideas are of how to right those wrongs. He’ll either come around or he won’t.

Tip 3 – Take care of yourself. Breakups can take their toll on more than your emotions. Now is not the time to let yourself or your health go. If you really want to get your boyfriend back, try to be kind to yourself by eating right, staying in shape and trying to focus on being kind to yourself. Your boyfriend is likely to find you more attractive if you put forth the effort to take care of yourself.

Tip 4 – Stay positive. Use the law of attraction to your advantage and try to maintain a positive attitude. Even if your boyfriend hasn’t contacted you back about your request to work things out, proceed with the belief that the situation will resolve itself in your favor. Even if you don’t get “him” back, your positive attitude could bring other good things (and people) into your life.

Tip 5 – Develop your own interests. While you two are working things out or as you wait for his response, don’t sit around pining for the phone to ring. Get out and explore your own interests. Stand on your own as a person. Have fun and truly enjoy yourself. Doing so can help boost your self-esteem, which will make you a happier person. Happy, positive people tend to attract positive attention from others.

Tip 6 – Remain open-minded. If you have stated your desire to get back together and he’s agreeable to talking, use good communication skills to try and bridge the gaps between you. Talk out your problems without letting anger get in the way. Listen to what he has to say and share your feelings and observations, too.

If you want to get your boyfriend back, be honest, open and positive. Even if it doesn’t work out quite the way you wanted it to, you may find yourself happier for making the effort.

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Embarking on a mission to save your marriage alone doesn’t come with any guarantee of success. If your spouse is being difficult, refuses to talk or even refuses to admit there may be serious issues facing your union, you can take it upon yourself to act alone initially to save your marriage.

The following tips can help you save your marriage alone and may enable you to open your spouse’s eyes before it’s too late:

* Identify the trouble spots – Trying to do this as you work to save your marriage alone can be extremely difficult. If your spouse will not open up and share, you may not get a complete picture of the issues you face. Still, you can work on your own to identify obvious concerns such as a lack of communication, a waning of intimacy, a lack of caring, and so on. Look inside your relationship and try to identify the major cracks in the foundation.

* Brainstorm solutions – Once you’ve identified some areas of concern, brainstorm for solutions you can work towards on your own. Trying to save your marriage alone can present challenges to implementing the solutions you’ve formulated. You need to be aware of the fact your spouse may not be willing to offer the true give-and-take a relationship needs to heal and rebuild. Even so, you may find some solutions you can put into action on your own.

* Try to communicate – After you’ve evaluated your problems and how to potentially solve them, try to open up a dialogue with your spouse. Make your attempt to save your marriage alone known to your spouse. By sharing, you may inspire your spouse to also step in and take action. Even if you don’t, go ahead and share your concerns and ideas for reconciliation and listen carefully to the responses.

* Take action – If you are still working to save your marriage alone after trying to communicate with your spouse, it is likely there are some steps you can take to put action behind your words. If you have stated you’ll become more positive and loving, try to do so. It can be helpful to bolster your positive side by using affirmations, meditating or even seeking counseling. If there is an issue of taking your spouse for granted, now is the time to show you are trying to overcome it. Whatever you have identified that needs addressing, try to achieve it.

* Re-evaluate the situation – If you have clearly stated your intent and have taken action to try to save your marriage alone, and you still aren’t getting your spouse to acknowledge your problems or want to work on them, it may be time to re-evaluate your situation. Consider making another attempt at communication or even try different actions and gauge the results.

* Remain positive – Taking steps to save your marriage alone can be very difficult, but they do sometimes pay off. Try to remain positive as you work on the problems you can tackle on your own. Even if you are not ultimately successful in your attempts to salvage your relationship, you will likely come out of the situation stronger and happier with yourself for having made the attempt.

Marriage is a two-way street. There are times, however, when one spouse has to take action to save the relationship. Saving your marriage alone will not always work, but the effort can be very worthwhile to try.

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Save Your Relationship Today

We live in what has been termed a “mobile society.” This could have something to do with vehicular mobility, the fact that we move around a lot. Or maybe it’s because our society is in transition.

Whatever the reason, our “mobility” is often the source of a lot of problems in our personal interactions. In these times, you can be hard pressed to find ways to save your relationship.

If you are finding that your intimate relationships are in trouble, you are certainly not alone. In order to save your relationship with your sweetheart, you have to go back to the beginning and work forward from there.

There must have been something that attracted you to your partner in the first place. Revisit those early days of your relationship and revel in the passion and intensity that accompanied those first moments.

Now think a bit more about those early times. Did you both work at establishing a foundation on which to build or were you “just playing it by ear”? Those initial days, weeks, and even months of passion do fade.

Your relationship will continue long-term only if you cultivate mutual interests, respect for each other and good communication about everything a couple needs to discuss.

Some relationships only continue because you are both used to it and no alternatives have offered themselves. It’s kind of sad, isn’t it?

Take heart, though – no relationship is over until it’s over (thank you, Yogi Berra). If you are still together, you may save your relationship with a few simple steps.

An analysis of long-term, fruitful relationships finds that there is some commonality in them all. The couples grew beyond the initial attraction and process of falling in love. They grew to really love each other, with all the warts and bumps and scars we each carry.

NOTE: Being in love is different that falling in love. When you fall in love, it is a purely emotional, physical response to the attraction you feel for the other person. Being in love is a conscious act of affection brought on by familiarity, appreciation, respect and good communication with your partner.

You have to maintain a positive attitude about your mate. You must overlook the warts and scars and see the inner person. View them in a positive light and talk about them in a positive manner. Like courtesy, it is contagious.

Make up a list about your partner with two columns, one for the positive things about them and one for the negative. Encourage your partner to do the same about you. Then compare your lists.

Make a commitment to each other to change as many of the negatives on each list as you can. Make another commitment to communicate well, as this is the basis for any sound alliance.

Commit further to expanding upon your mutual interests and activities. What is it that both of you enjoy? Take up a hobby together, go to the health and fitness club together, go to church or a social setting together and share your friends and families.

Your relationship should be a joy for both of you. Remember that “the quality of a relationship is measured by how well it meets the needs of all those involved.”

Do these things and you will be the couple that all others look to for encouragement that good relationships are lasting, fulfilling and a joy to behold.

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